Confessions of a Spiritual Workaholic
Jesus said WALK with me. He did not say WORK for me.
A common misunderstanding is that our activity for God will bring us closer to God.
No, it will not. In fact, the exact opposite is true.
Rather than enjoying a personal relationship with Jesus, we are overwhelmed, confused, frustrated, and disappointed. The more we do, the less satisfaction and fulfillment we experience.
The typical prayer of a spiritual workaholic sounds something like this:
Lord, I do not understand.
I went to that additional Bible Study and did the assignments. I faithfully attend worship. I read my Bible every day and have a quiet time, sometimes. I pray for the church and the pastors and the people. I make sure my kids are at church and I volunteer once a month to help with Sunday morning children program needs. I take notes on the sermons and try to do what the pastor says do. I even read ahead when I know where the sermon is going next week. I give money to the church. I take leadership responsibilities and serve on church committees, facilitate a small group, and sing in the choir occasionally.
I went on that mission trip last year and plan to go again this year. I give money every month to the missionaries there. I give clothes to the cloth bank and food to the food bank. I support multiple charities and sponsor two international orphans every month. I took my unchurched neighbor to that grief group every Tuesday night for three months. I cannot get them to attend church with me, but I’ll keep trying.
I coach teams in our recreation ministry. I have gone to camps for our kids and youth. I served snacks at the summer program for special needs kids. I help greet people on Sundays. Every Wednesday night I move between being at the youth midweek with my teen, choir rehearsal, and meeting with the counselor that is helping my youngest.
In addition to all this I have been asked to consider being on the Finance Committee, Prayer Ministry, Hospitality Team, and host a young adult group. I have also been asked to facilitate a recovery group since I have made progress in overcoming my abuse and betrayal.
Every week I hear of something else at the church that is a good thing, an important thing, a necessary thing that I should do or help with. Every ministry and mission endeavor we have here seems to be important.
My spouse and kids have needs, my extended family has a ton of issues, and then the stress at work!
Like I said Lord, I don’t understand! I am exhausted!
I thought all that I am doing for you would bring me the meaning, purpose, peace, and joy that you talk about in your Word. It has not! I am confused, frustrated, and if I am honest, angry. Yes, I guess I really am angry.
This feels like a massive waste of time with little personal benefit!
When is pleasing you enough, enough?
I would like to take a year off, just say no to everything and everybody, and hopefully get some rest and perspective. That is what I would like to do, but I know the feelings of guilt and shame would be more than I could bear. So, I guess it is just suck it up buttercup. Stop whining and get busy.
Heaven is going to be such a relief!
“I don’t want your sacrifices – I want your love; I don’t want your offerings – I want you to know me.”
Hosea 6:6, Living Bible
Ask God to bring someone into your life that will help you learn to walk with Jesus and not just work for him.